Make yourself at home

Paris, August 14th 2015

My dearest not even almost Canadian,

As the sun still shines in Paris (incredibly), I come to you stuck inside of a tiny apartment near where all the cool people live for this very first blog post. I have no idea what I am doing, nor what will end up happening to this letter. In any case it won’t be the last, it won’t be a first – rest in peace, teenage diary p 66 to 72, may you find solace within the sewer.

In a stunning turn of events, I am writing to procrastinate, which is how most masterpieces have been made (that, and the intent to get laid). We are supposed to get some groceries, fill our stomachs with veggies (pasta), fruit (pesto) and courage (wine) but instead I am going to lay down in denial and distract myself with another type of list:

Things I Have and Things I Have Not.

• I Have: a lot of thoughts about travelling and many ideas of how I could procrastinate some more on this new blog of ours. For instance, a couple of good friends have recently moved abroad to study and have asked me for advice about studying abroad, so let me make myself useful here with some things that were crucial to me – this is, after all, a travel blog:

• Say yes a lot.

• 

  (That’s eloquently put, stranger in the 18th arrondissement)

  First of all it’s a simple word to learn in most languages, so make life easier for yourself.
  Secondly, whether you’re travelling indefinitely or staying temporarily, a huge part of how enjoyable your experience will depend on connections you make with locals. They’ll take you to the cool places, teach you more about the complexities of their culture even if they don’t mean to (this may include uncomfortable discussions about racism and what the hell those Aussie sausages even are – seriously, you call yourselves barbecue specialists guys ?) and make your stay feel less like an endless walk through a museum where you can’t touch all the nice stuff.
  Thirdly, if you are planning on staying for a while, being surrounded is the best way to move into a new routine. Going outside of your comfort zone helps building a comfortable zone. If you’re an introvert (hi buddy), this may sound exhausting, and it will be. But it is also a good way get through the first, polite conversations and the endless mascaraed of one night friendships with high social energy costs. The more people you meet, the more people you meet. Eventually, you will find people you can feel at ease with and will even bring you bits of homeliness.

  – Play Quidditch.
  By which I mean engage in a local, regular activity that puts you in social situations where you can share a common passion and meet cool people that you’ll actually want to hang out with outside of said passion; and if this activity can help you be invested in a local community or travel within the country, even better !
  But I also mean play Quidditch, because it’s the best sport in TWO universes and so addictive you won’t be able to stop talking about it.

  

  (Yes, readers, I really did play Quidditch with negative amounts of regrets)

  – Do you. Yes, force yourself out, take part of what happens around you, volunteer for events in the area, work in a local restaurant, go to book clubs, shop at the market, meet other nerds at board games nights, but most of all, don’t let someone else tell you what your experience should be like, including your past self. You don’t owe yourself any crazy travels because you saw them on TV. You don’t owe anyone else to become president of a local charity because that one girl from the same school did so. You don’t owe your parents to see every museum in town and learn its history by heart. You don’t owe your school to be a perfect student. Your experience will be different to someone’s else’s, to the one everyone expected and the one you set yourself to have. It will be unpredictable and boring, alienating and empowering, underwhelming and unexpected. A healthy slice of life, in short.
  By all means, don’t focus on the experience you’re not living. Who wants to think about what you don’t have ?

• I Have Not: found, despite all these adventures, an apartment. Oh the comfort of sleeping in the same bed for more than three nights ! In the fashion of exchange students coming back home, my summer has been hectic, full of happy or hypocritical hugs, old stories chewed up and spit into new ears and more or less luxurious forms of couch surfing. As grateful as I am to travel around my dear Europe whose quaint beauty I sorely missed, I long for the familiarity of my own sheets… Help, have I arrived at that stage of life ? Will it only go faster and downhill from now on ? Should I be wearing a helmet ? (My concerns are getting older too.)

• I Have: however, a lovely, bubbly, awesome house mate (who despite all her adjectives does not come fed, so I should be looking into this groceries list deal)

• I Have Not: any amount of money. I have heard it is useful to survive, but I’ve also heard sleeping next to your phone is dangerous for your brain and you of all people know one can’t physically fall asleep without music so screw you, world.

• I Have: found Paris to be way more beautiful than I recalled. And yes, you’ve ‘told me so’ repeatedly. I won’t be
  the first traveller to learn the merits of home only after having been very, very far away – and hopefully everyone does not have to go on the actual other side of the world to do so. Paris however has been a tricky city to me, neither home nor foreign, either washed by rain or by tourists, leaving most in wonder but leaving me wondering. It turns out Paris is easier to pet if you wait for summer, until it curls its back under your hand and comes purring at you, laying its lovely streets all the way up to Montmartre and all the way down to the St Martin Canal (where all the cool people live). I discovered many new places to visit again, once I am able to focus on something else than amount of supermarkets close to the places we inspect.

• 

• I Have Not: eaten any chocolate since we got here, despite needing it deeply.

• I Have: a new swimsuit, a hula hoop and most importantly a skipping rope ! See, this is me trying to project myself in a better future. We cling to what’s left…

• I Have Not: done any of the readings I was supposed to do before the start of the semester. To be fair, my lecturer doesn’t sound too concerned as he has warned us by email we will together ‘wander on yet unknown paths’. I can only underestimate the work this year will ask from me, so I might as well start it of being legendarily unproductive. Low standards, working my way up !

• I Have: just been rick rolled with a 5 years delay. Thanks, high school friend and your music files played on shuffle. I thought it was a Valentine’s day gift. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

• I Have Not: applied any of my own advice to my life in Paris – yet. When I moved from my hometown to study here three years ago, I guess I didn’t think of it as as big a leap as leaving for Australia two years later. I’ve come back knowing I was, as per usual, completely incorrect, but hey, I’ve grown as a person ! (?)

• I Have: every intention of doing better this time around. It turns out nobody but yourself can make somewhere your home. Who would have guessed ? Is that the definition of a home being yours ? Maybe !

• I Have Not: made any progress on that fucking groceries list. I think that signals the end of this one…

By the time this is posted, I may have a place and maybe even food in my stomach. Until then, my brain feels like a cat falling from the third floor. I am aware we usually fall on our feet and the floor is there waiting for me. But right now, I am tumbling with no idea where up, down or the Mecca is, relying on nature doing its magic and life sorting itself out eventually. Are you familiar with this feeling ? Have you heard of any cat not landing ? Have you heard of any floor disappearing recently ? Are you a cat ? How are you anyway ? Also, what is home ? Tell me everything.

(My brain needs hugs)

I am sure this blog will be a comfortable floor to land on and I have great hopes for our future. Or at least for yours to make the average of ours combined decent. You’re the brain of this operation after all.

Greetings from wherever I found Internet,

Astrid.